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Thursday, May 19, 2016

Bee-Stung Lips

Yesterday, I was outside and got zapped in the lower lip. Half an hour later, I attempted rescuing a bee trapped in the house -- a good deed that that ended in disaster. Incensed by my clumsy attempt to catch her, the bee shot straight at my face and up my left nostril. Reflexively, I snorted her out, so she plunged all of her venom into my philtrum instead. Still, I'm thankful for small mercies. Thank God she missed my nose -- I wouldn't have been able to breathe.

Of course, before all this excitement transpired, I'd promised to take my kids out for ice cream, and despite my rapidly swelling disfigurement, they refused to let me reschedule our date. Btw, I'm going to take this moment to rant my way down a rabbit trail. I hate it when people are polite and try not to look. Seriously, lips the size of a cantaloupe are spectacularly out of the norm, so pretending not to notice is sort of ridiculous. I'd much rather have them gape outright and ask, "What the heck happened to you?" so that I can tell them it was a chick fight, but "you should see the other gal!"

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/I5A6W00HeXw/hqdefault.jpg

Anyway, during my research on how to reduce the swelling more quickly, I found thousands -- literally thousands -- of beauty articles on how to get "that enviable bee-stung look." Seriously, I can't make this stuff up.


Irving Penn was a brilliant photographer, and I love this photo.
But is that mouth really sexy? I mean, I like bees, but I wouldn't kiss that.

Of course, this look can be achieved by injecting various chemicals such as toxins or silicon, but it can also be gained (less permanently) through various makeup techniques and creams.
A small sampling of what comes up when Googling bee-stung lips

Of course, my favorite page titles involve getting bee-stung lips "naturally." A quick perusal of several articles shows that these methods involve the use of things like cayenne pepper, cinnamon scrubs, and lip plumpers (which often contain some bee venom). However, I noticed that nobody recommends the most natural way of all... which is to get stung by an actual bee. 

My "engorge-ous" new look 





10 comments:

  1. Ouch! If only there was a way to make a business out of "natural bee-stung lips" without killing bees. Maybe just using queens? Or sneak in a wasp or two. (Most people can't tell the difference. ;-))

    I also want to hear what your DH will do to make himself look like Brad Pitt since you are now Angelina Jolie!

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    1. LOL! I like the idea of using wasps!

      Hmmm... Will definitely suggest that my DH tries a Brad Pitt look. With my luck, though, he'd probably pick a style from 12 Monkeys. hee hee hee

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  2. Did you find an answer to how to reduce the swelling more quickly? I hope so! FWIW after getting my allergy shots, sometimes I use ice packs (small gel pack or frozen veggies) and sometimes an antihistamine like Zyrtec. I've heard heat can help but haven't tried it.

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    1. Good tips! I applied an ice pack during the day, and took a Benadryl just before bedtime. Did it help? Hard to say. My middle child took a look an optimistically exclaimed, "Oh, mom, you look... well, you don't look quite as bad as yesterday."

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    2. From the mouths of babes.....

      I find two things have really helped me with stings and swelling. Get the stinger out as quickly as possible and then ice it right away - neither of which is easy when you are in the middle of an inspection!

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  3. Ouch. I got stung on the leg and didn't get the stinger out - swelled up and hurt to walk for a couple days. Can't imagine the lips! Hope you heal soon, and hope your hives are doing well now that the weather is thinking about warming up.

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  4. I tried Benadryl for a bad sting on my wrist once and it made me sick. Now I use witch hazel to reduce the swelling of stings. It comes in medicated pads and in little bottles in liquid form.

    I have an Epipen on standby for worse case scenarios, i.e. me or a visitor having an anaphylactic reaction to a bee sting, especially bee stings near the eyes and nose. I know a beekeeper who got on a sting under the eye and within an hour couldn't breathe. Again, worse case scenario. I hope I never have to use the Epipen.

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    1. That's a good idea to have an epipen on hand. I asked my doctor for a prescription, though, and he wouldn't give me one. Said the epipen could have a worse effect than a sting for someone who wasn't allergic. Fortunately, though, I live within 3 miles (5 min drive in traffic) of an urgent care center, so I keep liquid Benedryl on-hand for emergencies, -- it's just to slow down a reaction long enough to get help.

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  5. Julie sorry about your lip,

    I have had a girl or two come inside my home, usually they head for the light in the middle of the room. Then I can usually get them to step into a jar with a little anise drop or two toward the bottom, a quick cover in place and we're headed outdoors. Along with ice I found these little pills in the vitamin shoppe, that are in a small blue tube for bee stings and I take right away 6 little ones 3 times a day and it's like nothing happened, but a small red mark. I'll have to get you the name later. Heal quick

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    1. Thanks for the info about the little blue pills. Will take a look for them the next time I'm near The Vitamin Shoppe. Fortunately, lips heal quickly, so I'm already better, but it never hurts to have a good remedy on hand. Pretty sure this won't be the last sting. :-)

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